ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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