He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
not ubering you a puppy
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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