I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
