I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I intend to get homeless drunk
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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