I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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