Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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