Welp...herpes.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
