Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
