Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My penis needs a shock collar
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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