her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
