Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
