Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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