Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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