Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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