We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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