hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it's like iHOP with fire
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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