hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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