Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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