You really coming over, don't trick.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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