we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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