i think my tv is drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
