I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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