do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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