Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
