Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
