If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
