Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
