I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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