I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
