i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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