theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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