He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
