I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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