My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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