i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
