Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
