Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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