I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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