Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
