They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do vagina's smell?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
