definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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