he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I love you.
Bad choice
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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