Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
