Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
50% drunk capacity currently
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
