So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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