No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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