Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
