it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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