Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
