Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
