I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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